Renewal Voice
The role of parents in shaping the character of children is very crucial and important. The character formation of children is a socio-psychological issue. Parents are the first teachers of children and the first school is their home. Children learn everything by watching their parents and they imitate their parents. A child’s personality, sense of values and social awareness are formed on the foundation of the family environment.
There is no doubt that the family situation and his parents have a great role to play in deciding what a child will become. If the parents, who are the first role models of children, are bad, it is very likely to have a detrimental effect on the character formation of children. Every child is born into this world with positive emotions. However, if children receive negative strokes from their parents during their life situations and growth stages, then there is a high chance that those children will start showing bad character habits, stubbornness, anger and other disturbances. However, if a child gets the most from his parents and family environment, it is a positive stroke that leads to good character and skills in that child and increases self-confidence. It is seen that good character, skills and self-confidence are more developed in children who grow up in a peaceful family environment.
The famous writer Khalil Gibran says: “Your children are not yours, but they come through you. Do not make them live for the world, but make them live in the world”. We should also understand these meaningful words. Instead of forcing good habits on children, we should instill them. It is also necessary to ensure that good habits are the same in all situations. Parents who scold and beat children as part of teaching good habits often end up damaging the mental health of children. Behavioral habits should be instilled at a young age and make them understand that behavior is a special element of development. Therefore, it is necessary to constantly instill love, recognition and good values at a very young age and raise children as the promise of this era. Let us not forget that we reap what we sow.
Children and parents have their own worlds today. In today’s nuclear families, the world of parents and the world of children are at opposite poles. The relationship between TV, Internet, and mobile phones also influences children. If parents do not intervene in this situation constructively and appropriately, children may go astray. In today’s era, the number of nuclear families with only one or two children is increasing. When this happens, parents are forced to fulfill every need of their children. This leads to destruction of children. Therefore, parents should be able to understand the desires, needs, and wants of their children, convince them, and guide them by taking strict stances when necessary, rather than giving them whatever they ask for. At this time, the best way to improve their character and eliminate their defects is to show love. Parents should control their children with good approaches more than discipline. If parents promise something to their children, they must keep it. Otherwise, children will learn that it is okay to not keep their promises. If your children have done something wrong, correct it. Otherwise, they will think that nothing will happen if they do something wrong. Children should be allowed to do more and more things as they grow up. Otherwise, they will continue to depend on someone for everything. When that happens, they will believe that everyone lives only for themselves and will become incapable of doing anything on their own. At the same time, children should be taught to say ‘no’ in situations where they need to say ‘no’ in life. Do not put heavy burdens on their children’s shoulders. Interaction with peers is the most essential thing for a child living in society. When children get special consideration in today’s nuclear families, it affects them adversely in times of crisis. Our children should grow up knowing about hardships and sorrows. We should raise them. At the same time, we should allow them to socialize and play with others. The saying ‘What is burned in fire does not wither in the sun’ is very relevant. In today’s times, even nursery children tend to commit suicide. There is no relevance in saying that parents live for their children. Because God did not create anyone to please or live for someone else. Saint Mother Teresa lived for the will of God, which she realized had to be fulfilled in her life. In this way, we should also be those who bring others closer to God, and that is our duty. There is no doubt that many things that happen in the family will definitely affect children. What is transmitted to children on such occasions is a particle of complete confidence. Such situations can only affect children in a very positive way. Children should grow up in this environment. Therefore, we need to realize that it is their parents who are most able to please, inspire and provoke children. Parents should be very careful in their children’s affairs. In this way, we can utilize our time for a well-disciplined society. V. Don Bosco says: “See God in children. Raise them with love and tolerance”.
The first architects of a child’s life are the parents of that child. Their love and life example give direction to that child’s personality and lay the foundation for future success. Thus, as parents, we can strive to raise our children with good character and good personality. May our children grow up with good discipline and character and achieve great successes and achievements in life. May we all be able to do that. I wish everyone all the best.
Fr. Joseph Munduparambil C.S.T
